Everyday, there are so many choices that I have to make and one thing that I keep on realizing is this:
Its always a battle between choosing to respond or to react base on what I know and and what I feel at a given situation.
Just like yesterday.
I was upset with my husband and I had a choice whether to tell it to him in a nice way so that we can discuss why I am feeling upset with him and how we can resolve it or I could show it to him in a way that would displease and disrespect him just to make him feel that I am really upset.
I chose the latter and we ended up in a heated argument.
The whole time that I was arguing with him, I had to make choices after choices to either make things right or to make things far worse that how we started our argument.
It was like I was in my full beast mode and was so ready to fight with him until I win so I kept making the wrong choices during our 2 hour segment of battle.
During our 2 hour fight, as he was getting annoyed with all the things that I was telling him why I was upset, he chose to get pissed with me and raised his voice so I also chose to raise my voice instead of responding in a gentle manner.
So he raised his voice again and started to be sarcastic with his responses to my questions and I chose to disrespect him more to show retaliation against with how he was reacting to me being upset with him.
I was expecting that he would gently ask me why I feel upset with him and how he could make me feel better but the choices that I made to show him my feelings in a displeasing manner where I put on a gloomy face and making “dabog” really got the ire of him.
So with my choice not to do it in a gentle way and telling my feelings to him with respect gave me more heartaches and more reason to be upset with him because I did not get the result that I was looking for.
Instead we ended up hurting each other as he also chose to react on me rather than respond with love.
It was a battle of what we knew from what we felt and we chose to respond to how we felt without considering what it would cost us after giving in to those ugly feelings we felt while we were arguing and that is because of our pride.
We both wanted to win in the battle but we ended up losing because I never gained the love I was looking for and He didn’t get the respect that he needed at that time.
I knew in my heart and in my mind, I was wrong with the choices I made and I take full responsibility of the choices that brought me into a heated argument with my husband. I will not look at his choices because it was his choices but I can reflect on the choices that I made since I am responsible for it.
And I know for husband and wives, this happens most of the time.
When you are in heated argument, both of you are fighting for your own rights and somehow you want your partner to give up on his/her battle in fighting you to make you the winner. You want your partner to respond the way you want him/her to respond without you thinking “How can I make him/her feel okay right now and end this argument?”
We tend to make choices out of our selfishness because sometimes, even if we know that we are bound to hurt our partners or when we see that they are already hurt because of the choices that we have made, we still choose to do the wrong choices because we try to justify it with how we feel at that moment when our emotions are high or distorted with anger and bitterness.
More than what you feel, you have to always learn to think of how your partner will feel if you make such choice and more than what you know, think of what should you know about your partner that is causing her to be upset or the main reason for his/her behavior.
So, how hard is it to make the right choice?
And making the right choice is making the choice that would glorify God. The most important thing that we should all consider is if the choice that we are choosing is the one that God would want us to do according to His commands and if it is, then it would glorify Him and it would be an act of worship on our part.
Colossians 3:17 says “And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”
Remember, your choice is not just for you but also for the people you love who are around you and for God who deserves all the glory in everything that we do because of the choices that we make.
How about you? How many times have you asked yourself this question “how hard is it to make the right choice?”
I would love to hear your thoughts! Comment below.